Review of “Cursed”

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A warning beforehand. This is going to be one of those reviews where I’m that person that pretty much tells you everything that happens in it. I won’t spoil the entire ending, but pretty much everything else.

With that said, I want to say that this movie just made my life. Seriously. Jesse Eisenburg as a werewolf? That’s two of my favorite things in the whole world combined in one movie!

Cursed was released in 2005, so it’s fairly old, but this was the first time I watched it. I purchased it last weekend at Movie Stop when my friend saw it lingering the shelves and said “OMG! This is the movie where Jesse Eisenburg’s a werewolf!” and it was $4, so who could really say no to that?

The movie takes place in California. In fact, the attack that leads Jesse Eisenburg (Zombieland, The Squid and the Whale) and Christina Ricci (The Addams Family, Casper, That Darn Cat)  to become werewolves takes place on Mulholland Drive, and if you’ve ever seen the David Lynch movie by the same name you would be like me and know something crazy was going to go down. Or that could just be me.

Well, they get attacked within the first five minutes of the movie, so you know right away its a movie that’s not going to drag on forever. After the attack, Jesse Eisenburg (yes, I am going to call them by their real names this entire review) decides to look into the whole thing, and figures out that they’re werewolves. His sister, Christina Ricci, on the other hand, is too worried about her relationship with Joshua Jackson (aka Pacey from Dawson’s Creek) to really listen to him. Besides, werewolves don’t exist. *wink*

Not that Jesse Eisenburg doesn’t have his own problems. He’s busy not only being tortured by the love of his life, Kristina Anapau, but by Milo Ventimigilia (aka Jess from Gilmore Girls), the bully jock who turns out to be gay (seriously, who saw that one coming?) and eventually hits on Jesse Eisenburg (and about half the girls reading this just went to rent this movie). Add being turned into a werewolf to that mix and you’ve got one messed up teenager.

Overall, I thought the movie was just… epic. Plain and simple. It’s listed as a horror, but, if you want the honest truth, it’s not. Sure, there are a few jumpy parts where the music goes BAM! and you’re like OH GOD! but that’s about it. The CGI is HORRENDOUS! Seriously, MS Paint material. Slightly surprising for a movie made in 2005, but that just means its probably low budget. Very low budget. Not to mention the werewolf looks like a man dressed in a wolf costume, which it most likely was.

But what made me really like this movie is that they followed a lot of the stuff I’ve learned about werewolves over the past year. Like that werewolves actually transform three nights during the month, not one. But the you got some other things: the pentagram on the hand and that silver just hurts them and you have to sever the head from the body in order to kill them. All logical things, though, so it didn’t bother me. At least they didn’t sparkle.

The only thing I’m wondering about is what ever happened to the gypsy? I think they should’ve totally used more of her in there instead of her just having two small parts and never seeing her again.

Overall grade: A

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